Saturday, April 18, 2015

2015 Catch-Up

Here's a quick update of my life since March 2014.


  • Dad went to the hospital for two months, lived in assisted living for six months, got transferred back home. Currently is living at home with help, dementia has kicked in something fierce.
  • Mom still working, going to school, and raising Mo. Kicking ass and on track to graduate this summer.
  • Mona is a high school freshman. And an alien. And we don't see eye to eye on stuff.


  • Sean's two brothers moved in with us May 2014. 
  • They didn't pay rent. 
  • It was awful. Verbal threats, harassment, etc.
  • I moved out in October 2014, one brother left. I moved back in November 2014. 
  • The brother that left came back to the house uninvited on Black Friday. I called the cops, locked the other brother out. Their mom came to take the rest of the stuff that day. 


  • Currently applying to graduate school. Hoping to go into information science.
  • Going to Google I/O next month.
  • Much excite.
  • Still working at the bank. It could be worse. 


  • Potty trained
  • Going to preschool (got bit the other day).
  • Plays on the computer/
  • Can count, sing, dance, knows colors.
  • Talks to me about how she doesn't like being around too many kids. Introvert in a large group, extrovert in a small group.


  • Broke up with Sean again. Still living together so we can co-parent. We hang out, and it's much better than the first break up.
  • Dating someone else. Kinda a new thing, but its pretty cool.
  • Currently a relationship anarchist. 
Did I mention Google I/O? I am so excited. 

Saturday, March 29, 2014

My Father -Family Drama

My father's health has been declining for the past two years. It started right before Zelda's first birthday. Family came to visit, and they ended up having to take him to the hospital in GR. He has been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, along with the many psychological disorders including depression, and bipolar. His mental health has always made me nervous, and he has never been a nice man.

I can remember my mother hanging onto a wooden rocking chair from a relative. I'm assume she wanted to refinish it, and my father hated it. He smashed it all across our garage one night, and she held onto the broken pieces for months in her van in a garbage bag. And that's the way things worked in my family. Dad took care of the house and destroyed everything he didn't like, and Mom tried to fix it, hide it, and not be in the way. Once I put the paper towels the wrong way on the holder, and he ripped it off the cabinet. That's the first time I remember taking something he had broken, hid it, and put it back together before replacing it.

I punched him and stole a car when I left the house at 20. The rift didn't heal until after Zelda was born. He told me once he didn't want to be a grandpa. He told my sister that she wasn't his daughter out of anger.

Now he's the one that is broken. Last month I attended the funeral of my great-aunt. An eight hour drive to Illinois, a newly potty trained toddler, we survived the funeral until the drive back to Grand Rapids. An hour from home, 11 at night, my father lost complete control of reality. He called the cops, kicked my center console to pieces, kicked my Windows, kicked me and started beating the shit out of my mother. 75 down the highway, screaming, kicking, punching, crying, I pulled over and told my mom to call the cops.

They transported him to the local hospital, and we learned why he was upset. He had kidnapped him and were going to take him to a labor camp, and they were only going to feed us 300 calories a day. The best part, he wanted a divorce because me and my mother had been taken over by a cult.

If you've met me, I'm about as atheist as it gets.

Since then, he backed into a police car, destroyed my moms bathroom killing 'giant rats,' and called the cops on my mother for stealing his car (they only have one vehicle right now and my sister has school while my mother works full time).

The police suggested that he be hospitalized, and he has been there for almost a month.

From what my mother has said, he is showing early onset dementia, convinced he is working on a play and that he knocked someone up and wants to be in the baby's life.

Not sure the point of this was, but, I guess I've got a lot going on right now. Things are kinda crazy. And what more can I do but take care of my family.

What can I do?

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


I've been a big Disney fan since I was a child. My favorite was Beauty and the Beast, but recently the new renaissance has just totally gripped my family. We loved Tangled, Wreck-it Ralph and Brave, but nothing prepped me for Frozen.

We've seen it three times.

I cried the entire way through.

I didn't expect Frozen to be a musical. Everything about the animation, music, story all hit me really hard. Z has been singing "Part of You're World" since her birthday, but now she picks up songs so fast. She loves being part of the movie, and drapes herself with blankets announcing that she is Elsa.

Usually she sings along with the video, every last word of the phrase, and losing interest.

Borrowing Mommy's gloves for dress up.
But then she did something I didn't expect. Z pulled on my gloves, looked at me and said, "Don't feel."

I was so surprised, I just sat there phone in hand just in case. Then she started to sing "Let it Go" to me.

Let it Go!
She's so awesome. BAM.

Monday, February 17, 2014

To Party on the Potty

Before our big move last year, Zelda was well on her way to potty training herself. She initiated when to go, and I could help but think, "No! Not yet!" By the time we moved in with Sean's parents, it was gone. No interest, and a total regression. Which was to be expected. Major life changes do this.

I made a plan, after Christmas, we would start again. Slowly, introduce her back to the idea. Rewards and encouragement, and hopefully by the time we was three we would be good. Well, then I found a post about potty training in three days. About a month ago, I decided to  give it a try.

The premise was simple, leave a potty seat out, a commode and let your baby got diaperless. Scary? Yeah, who wants to clean up poop and pee off the floor.

I am proud to say, Zelda is now a potty trained toddler during the day. We have about one to two accidents a week, diapers at night which 4-5 nights are totally dry. Last week we did an eight hour drive to IL for my great-aunts funeral, only one accident on the entire trip. Potty breaks every 2 hours, but hey!

Z has been so amazing, and bounced back from our homelessness so well. It helps that now everyone that takes care of her is on the same page with the potty training. You just need to put in the work, and the care into the child for them to flourish.

Zelda going potty with Ariel.

Saturday, January 11, 2014


I have come in contact with a new idea. That your truths may not be my truths. That my lifestyle may not be your lifestyle. I'm trying to let go of my prejudices and grow as a person. I am willing to fight for what I believe, but I will not look down on people that make other choices than me.

I know what is best for my family, I know what works with my child. I make my choices based on scientific findings, research and my own trial and error. We will not change because of someone else's anecdotes, and strive to make our lives productive and safe. My daughter's growth and development is up to me to motivate her and myself to live healthy and be awesome. I won't let her waste away in front of the television, and commit to teach and engage her mind.

No judgements, no labels, just togetherness.

I just hope that I will be stable enough to live openly, and the strength to out aside all the anger I feel towards people that don't walk the same path as I do. My resolution for this year is to look within myself, to be a role model with honor and integrity.

When I fail, when I mess up, I will own my mistakes and learn from them.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Snow Ice Cream

Michigan is in snowpocalypse right now, so it was a perfect time to try a recipe from Country Drawers.

Snow Ice Cream
4 cups snow
1 cup milk
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract

This was the easiest recipe ever, and we added coffee creamer to get a different flavor. We had pumpkin this time, but I'm guessing the flavor possibilities are only limited to what you can mix in. So much fun, and if you do it right not too bad for you. I used 2% milk and real sugar.

That's all, enjoy the snow day!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Happy New Year, Re-Commitment To Blog

Now that I have at least a way to update (since my computer is having issues charging) I am making a re-commitment to my blog. The house so far has been very good to us, only a few minor projects, but my next attempt is to take pictures of the 'before.'

I have been line drying all the laundry for the past three months, gotten one parking ticket from being on the wrong side of the road, and successfully navigated the 2013 holiday season.

We got to celebrate three holidays; Zelda's birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Each has been a wild ride, and I can't even explain how hopeful I am for the next year. Next up - my journey to another 5k, Zelda's bedroom, and hopefully many more posts to come.