Monday, October 31, 2011


Just going to throw this out there - I'm an old lady.

It's not even 8:30, on Halloween. No parties to go to.

Just want to sleep. Not like I'm actually going to sleep or anything, since I wake up so much and roll over at least every hour or so.

In other news - my baby is technically full term now. Bitches ain't shit.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

In case you don't recognize the above title - it is a little guy flipping over a table in rage.

I want to do this. Why? Because people are stupid.

Last week, I got a notice from Medicaid informing me that I was no longer eligible for benefits. Being low-income, and having to paste together anything I have to make it month to month, I was confused but continued to read.

"You are ineligible for benefits because you are not pregnant."

Excuse me? What? Want to explain that to the extra heartbeat that I heard coming from my abdomen? This past week has been me trying to fight for some sort of medical insurance, because let's face it - I can't pay for it myself.

And next week I have a doctor's appointment, and the week after that, and every week after that until I pass a baby through my vagina.

Absolutely ridiculous. I'm just going to rant about the accessibility issue again. I know what I deserve as a first time parent, I know to call my case worker, I know to email until I get a real response. I'm tenatious and annoying and obnoxious - because shit like this keeps happening to me. First with birthing classes, then with hospitals not taking my insurance.

If our society is so hell-bent on healthy kids and futures, why the fuck does this happen? Why does the accessibility suck? It should be easy, it's nine months of starter care, and some education. Better to give education to parents that are young, provide care for those pregnant at sixteen girls. They shouldn't have to deal with this!


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Lists Lists Lists

I have been trying to make a list of stuff to pack to take to the hospital. Mostly because there are all sorts of 'birthing plans' and books that I've been reading that tell me to. I only have three things to actually buy, which is a nightgown (who the fuck wears a nightgown anymore? I sleep in t-shirts and underwear), nursing bra, and some sort of breast pad.

Everything else we have in the apartment. Maybe we need a bigger bag for all the stuff.

I am freaking out.

Also - I quit with putting together things. And so does the BF.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Call Me 'Nesty McNesterson'

I thought nesting was a myth. Just like the bull that is craving pickles and ice cream.

Nope, not a myth. I lost my shit today, and started to do all the laundry of all the baby clothes/burping rags/blankets/other that had been sitting around the apartment. Everything has gone through the wash with my handy free and clear non-scented detergent that I use all the time. Also, I got a chance to start organizing. Which was super hard since we don't have a dresser for her yet. Slow process trying to get this place ready. Doesn't help my backseat for my car is still sitting in the middle of the place.

On top of the organization crazy that hit me, I also cleaned the bathroom. I won't show you before and after pictures, just trust me on how gross it was. I kind of want to set up the pack-n-play, but at the same time, I don't want to. And also we don't have a crib yet, or a place to put it. I also need to rearrange the bedroom a little bit, aka move the guitars out and put the bassinet in.

I got through the laundry, and everything we have so far is sorted. I will fold it completely and organize better when there is a dresser to be had. Until then, baby is sharing with Daddy.

Isn't he the best?

Friday, October 14, 2011

Baby Party Part 2

Figured it was time to give the run-down of the Midland baby shower. The morning didn't go as planned, my ice got cancelled because of broken pipes and ice melting down, and the BF was in bed for at least twelve hours sleeping off a cold. The trip wasn't too bad, except for the GR traffic and construction.

But we got to Midland fine, and then got to hang with the family while one of my best friends and her mom kept doing party stuff. And I got a chance to experience my sister being jealous. My sister is eleven, and since I left the house four years ago, it has been all Mo all the time. She made a point to get all up in the party business, throw a couple of fits, and just all this ridiculousness. It was like she didn't seem to understand that it's not like she's going to get ousted by my baby. They aren't going to even be in the same town, and this attention seeking crazy is something I hadn't really noticed. As a baby she used to strip in public, and I guess this is just the next stage of her.

I just hope she grows out of it.

The baby shower was again, like the last, slightly awkward. It was mostly all my old teachers, and then a bunch of moms that my mother is friends with. Then there was my BFF LS, my BF, and my cousins Manda and Rach. Favorite game was the candy bars. They were melted in diapers and we had to figure out what candy was candy. A lot of the other party-goers were disgusted, but I realized maybe I eat to much candy to be able to recognize so many of them melted down.

But overall, it was nice to get to hang with the family, and get some Diablo II in. Now of course the apartment is even more crazy baby-filled, and I can't manage to find a place for all the things. There are too many clothes, all different sizes of clothing and I don't have a way to organize any of it. Plus, I'm knee deep in trying to just wash it all so that we can have it ready for when she decides to show up.

In six weeks or so. Almost five. Unless she goes over.

But I'm still having my skin get stretched as she moves. And sometimes I can't slouch because her body is in they way. I don't want to be pregnant anymore, I want to be done, and this is just getting rediculous. I'm huge - and whenever I think to take a picture, I a) haven't showered in days, or b) am not wearing a bra. Mostly because clothes are uncomfortable. And I don't like them anymore.

So fucked.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

The Truth About Baby Showers (Part 1)

I can already tell that this is going to be a two-parter because I'm having two showers. I was trying to hold out for next weekend to happen, but I just have too much on my mind and need to get it out. Mostly because baby showers are the most awkward things in the world.

First, having family that you don't know very well makes a baby shower incredibly awkward. Especially if they are all great aunts/uncles/grandmas. They are all related to the thing growing in me, but I have no idea what they are really like and have only met them a handful of times. And, like most family, I would only care to meet them a couple of times.

Second, a preggo lady invites her friends she wants to share this with. Special people that she may or may not have lost contact with for a long period of time. This makes the shower even more awkward - because any one of these people I could have sat down and had a conversation for at least and hour if not more just catching up on life. I got to see so many people I missed, but I didn't get a chance to hang out with anyone or really show them how much they all meant to me.

And that's the truth about baby showers - all the people you want, and no time to tell them how awesome their friendship is.

Here's another thing for thought - posted on reddit by jeeluh :

The original title of this was "anyone find this as rude as I do?" In fact, yes, just like having to troll your friends for addresses to send them an invite on facebook because a) you lost their phone number, or b) you have no other way to contact them besides the damn internet. I think something like this is incredibly rude - it's making people feel guilty for not being able to come to the shower. In fact, I have had at least three friends that couldn't make it to my shower contact me and ask when I was coming over to hang out/get presents. Well, one group of friends and two individuals. But still, they contacted me, not me posting a thing on facebook for the world to see.

"Look at me, get me gifts, be happy for me," blah blah blah. I hate facebook sometimes. That's why I post nothing about the baby on there. It's not the world's business how my pregnancy is going. I'm repeating myself, I've said this all before. This is why I have a blog. 

So, only one more shower. I am never doing this baby thing again.