Sunday, June 24, 2012

Week 1 - Workout 1

Started the couch to 5k today. It was hard. My legs hurt. But it was the after that was kinda hard, where Sean made me do some sit ups than taught me karate blocks and punches.

My arms hurt.

But I survived! Win.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

I'm Fat

I'm fat.

That sounds awful, but for serious. I'm fat.

I was fat before I got pregnant, and I may be back to my 'pre-pregnancy' weight, but I am out of shape. I have been since I graduated and don't have access to a gym / discovered the wonders of Netflix and the internet.

A friend at work told me about doing a program called 'couch-to-5k'. I was like - "ok, good for you. I think you look good, but keep me updated." That sounds sarcastic on the page, but it isn't. She's a great girl and I'm discovering that I'm a little jealous of her.

Ok. Maybe a lot jealous.

Of course I started doing some research about BlogHer '12. Since I'm going this year (YAY BITCHES AINT SHIT! Well....at this place they are the shit, but I can't figure out a way to phrase what I want to say any other way at this point), I decided to look at all the different stuff that is happening.

It's overwhelming to say the least.

I found out that on my birthday, August 3rd at 6am there is a 5k.

I want to do it.

But it's a little late to start training. So, I'm going to do it anyway. I'm going to start couch to 5k, and even though the program is nine weeks, I'm going to try to get at least to week 5 of the training, then try the 5k. If I don't make it, what the hell, I don't care, I will go back to playing video games. Or train for a different one with the right amount of time.

And I'm going back to twitter - @UndefinedMalice. Yay.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Father's Day and Break Times

So last weekend I had an impromptu weekend off, and coming up I have my regular weekend off. I am living the life of luxury, taking it easy since work has been really stressing me out.

Quick overview on how work has been - kid got injured, CPS got called, and I have had meeting after meeting trying to run over the details of this same night and it has been awful. I just recently found out that his injury was not all damaged caused from our incident, but years of previous injury (most likely self inflicted) which makes me not feel as bad. Still, it was a shitty night, I has been a shitty situation, and I have been moved to a different section of the building to give me a 'break.' My past couple of nights working haven't been nearly as stressful, and I haven't been injured quite as much. There is a huge difference between getting targeted ("I hate you" and getting chased and punched) and getting hit because someone doesn't want to get into PJs (*whap*) and they can't speak.

Also, finally got all the pumping issues resolved at work. I got a call from "talent management" (aka HR, dumb), and they said I would have access to the shift manager office, they were required to give me a break, and I didn't have to clock out to pump. Told you I was in the right, now I just need to help my coworker that clocked out for a year and my other friend/coworker who is getting induced tomorrow (YAY!).

Onward and upward, I got a chance to go to the lake with Z and Sean, and the Keckler Clan. Yes, all of them, and the girlfriends of the brothers, and the aunts and uncles and etc etc etc. It was fun to get out of the house, and Zelda loved the water. But not the sun.

Lake time with Zelda.
We also got a chance to see my family on Father's day - eat bunches of junk food (steak and shake and ihop in one day), and go to the pool. Zelda got to play with her float thing and kick her feet in the water. She loved it, and I enjoyed getting to play with her. Z got super tired and fussy though, so I wrapped her in a towel and fed her and she fell asleep. Father's day for Sean sucked in my opinion, he had to work all day, didn't get any pool time, and Zelda peed on our bed.

Both times when we were out at the beach and then at the pool,  I fed her in public, in my bathing suit. It was super awkward for me, but one time she was in my wrap in a hip carry and the other I managed to cover up with the towel.  I know I got some looks, but seriously, it sucks having bunches of people around and trying to feed. I hate being banished with Z, even Sean's best friend couldn't talk to me while I was feeding her. Oh well, I'll get over it.

This week I got an unexpected break from ice skating, where both nights we didn't have ice. Two days straight at home, and I am almost itching to get back to work tomorrow.

All in all, I was super stressed, talked to my psychologist (I did mention I might has post partem depression right? Well...yeah, it's going better but I'm trying to find some way to fix how I feel), and now I can focus on what's important. I've given up trying to dictate Z policy when she is with her dad and his parents - they are going to do what they want, if they kill her, whatever, not my problem. I did everything I could to keep it from happening. But seriously, I'm trying to be less neurotic, and more relaxed with Zelda.

My baby girl said 'mama' today. Finally - I was sick of hearing dadada all the time. But she also got a 'bob' and a 'papa' out before she managed to get mama. She's adorable, but her saying 'mama' really fucks with me. I have a hard time letting her cry, and pick her up for everything, and she gets everywhere in the apartment. It's like she knows that she can say 'mama' and I'm just going to melt, because even though it might not be attached to me (yet), it feels like she calling for me.

I don't know, she's just growing up so fast, I got her some more clothes (6-9 months, can you believe it?), and bought some stuff for winter - jeans and sweatpants all 12 months.

And I got a fantastic nap today with Zelda.

Best pillow ever.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

My Explorer

It just hit me today how much my little baby has grown up. Next Monday she will be seven months old, and she crawls, pulls up on furniture and can balance on her two feet for about twenty seconds at a time. She is into everything, puts all the crud on the floor in her mouth, and can follow me around corners into the kitchen. She loves moving, and when she isn't getting what she wants, Z has taken to screeching. You can just look at her face and see that she is just pissed. 

And she signed 'milk' to me. I don't think she means it as milk, but more of - 'hey, if I sign this, you will fix whatever is making me mad because guess what, I'm ticked.' I hope soon some other signs like 'mom' and 'dad' will show up, or even 'more.' 

She's not really that big, and has kind of slowed in weight gain. Sleeping is still a huge issue for us, 4 hours straight is about all she does. But everything else she seems to be doing really well in. Except baby food. She hates that shit. And I don't blame her - have you ever had rice cereal? It's gross. Baby oatmeal? Yuck. Meat - that is the worst shit ever. It's thick and sloppy, but you can't heat it up in the microwave, so it's just this gelatinous pile of terrible taste. The vegetables are disgusting and weird flavored, so the only thing I can manage to deal with is the pureed fruits. Which I think are like different types of applesauce. 

I nearly had a heart attack the other day when I was giving Z cheerios. She was putting them in her mouth, but instead of mashing them up with her gums, she had a whole one sitting in the middle of her tongue as she went about her business. She was cooing and dada-ing with a freaking cheerio in her mouth. So I freaked out, tried to get it out of her mouth, ended up shoving it further down her throat, she gags, starts choking, I'm trying to get a burp rag and thumping her on the back hoping I haven't just killed my first-born child.

Needless to say, she's fine. Coughed up the cheerio and cried at me. 

She's too big. She's growing up too fast. AND SHE CAN RIP OFF HER DIAPER. 

I feel like I just mastered how to take care of a baby, and now she's changing the game plan. I can't ever adapt quick enough to be ahead of the curve. Is this the way parenting is all the time? Is the child always going to be one step ahead of me?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Sweetrolls

I leveled up my baking skill the other day, and baked up some Skyrim inspired sweet rolls that I just googled and used the recipe from Gourmet Gaming. It was a nice to get into something new, and to expand on my own recipe skills. I actually used a modified recipe, swapping out a half cup of flour for a half cup of flax seed to make it a little more milk-making friendly. Here is the recipe - copied from the original blog post, the URL gets a little weird sometimes.

For the Sweet Rolls:
1 Cup Butter (Room Temperature)
¾ Cup White Caster Sugar
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
2 Tablespoons Maple Syrup
2 Eggs (Room Temperature)
2 Cups Self-Raising Flour
2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon
½ Cup Milk

For the Frosting:
1 Cup Cream Cheese
¼ Cup Butter
1 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
1 Cup Icing/Confectioners Sugar

For the Cinnamon Syrup:
2 Tablespoons Butter
2 Tablespoons White Caster Sugar
2 Teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

Preparing the Sweet Rolls:
1. Preheat the oven to 350F. To prepare the muffin tray, cut small squares of greaseproof paper and stuff them into each muffin well – create folds and crinkles and then smooth them out to help create a rustic, uneven finish to the cakes.

My prepared muffin pan.
2. In a large bowl cream the butter, sugar, vanilla extract and maple syrup together until pale and creamy. Add the eggs one and a time and mix well.

3. Sift in the self-raising flour and cinnamon then add the milk and stir gently until a smooth batter forms.

4. Fill the prepared muffin tray with the batter, filling each well nearly to the top and place in the pre-heated oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (a skewer inserted should come out clean when cooked thoroughly). Set aside and allow to cool completely while you prepare the syrup and frosting.
Batter with flax seed in it.
Making the Frosting:
1. Add the cream cheese, butter and vanilla extract in a bowl and mix gently until combined.

2. Slowly sift in the icing/confectioners sugar and stir gently. 

3. Allow to chill in the fridge before using.

Making the Cinnamon Syrup:
1. In a pan on a medium-high heat melt the butter, sugar and cinnamon together until the sugar has dissolved. 

2. Set aside for use later.

Making the Sweet Rolls:
1. Unwrap the cakes from the paper and careful slice the puffy top off the cake. Turn the cake upside down so that the cut top is now the bottom.

2. Cut a small hole in the top of the cake that’s about 1cm deep and 1cm across. Pour a little of the cinnamon syrup into the hole.

3. Drizzle the frosting over the top of the cake and serve.

Finished product!
It was super fun to make, even though Sean didn't really like them. I think I might try again, and just do it without the flax seed change. Not like it wasn't super unhealthy to begin with, but eh, oh well.