Saturday, September 8, 2012

Last Free Weekend

This is hopefully my last weekend being unemployed. It has been a hard month, and I am not exactly excited for the next job, but at least it is something. I have another interview on Monday, which again, isn't exactly the direction I want to go with my life. It's back to serving consumers, but it's a retirement home rather than behavioral health.

Which is where I get stuck again, what do I want to do with my life? What are my goals?

The worst part is, I have none. I have things I'd like to do (hence why I applied for a job that was all German speaking, and for a manager position with a non-profit), but nothing really sparks my interest. I'd like a 9-5 job, that doesn't tax my brain, but is that where I need to be? It feels like my job experience at this point has limited me in what I want to do.

Should I go back to school? If so, what should I study? I'm trying to break into working in a bank, and maybe I should just drop my need to help people and go find something with business administration.

Meh, it's just not me. And my life is so mundane. I sit at home with the baby, we play, we sing, we go to the store, we dance, we listen to music, we nap, and on occasion I get to hang out with her dad. Which has been super weird too. We're in a funk. That's why I need a job - even if it's making sandwiches.

Purple dress and shoes from Oma.
Z has been just amazing these past few weeks, and I keep looking at her and wondering where the little ball of angry I brought home from the hospital went. She has such a vibrant personality, yelling when things don't go her way, running around the apartment, tripping and face-planting into my computer. She drives me crazy,  but she's just so excited about everything. Still not a sleeper, but she's a quick little bugger. Sometimes she tries to follow me into the bathroom when I need to pee, closes the door on accident, then gets upset because she can't figure out how to open it, and won't move when I try to open the door to let her in.

I feel stuck. All I can hope for is a next step, and a new opportunity.

Bonus - Z in the rain.

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